I just bought one of your fancy electric toothbrushes, because I live on sweets and I'd quite like to still have some teeth left when I'm 50. I have a consumer question relating to it, which I wonder if you could help me with.
What the FUCK am I supposed to do with this, you fucking halfwits?
This, viewers, is the miserable, greedy, idiot face of business in Britain today. For maximum excellence in dental hygiene I also own one of these, which is (like the Oral-B toothbrush) powered by a rechargeable fixed battery rather than AAs or mains power. The makers of the Waterpik, however, have managed to make an important mental leap which has somehow eluded the drooling, grunting cretins at Oral-B.
The great epiphany they've had is that you don't necessarily have to charge the device in the same place you're going to be using it. The Waterpik, then, charges from a nice sensible three-pin mains plug (in the same non-retarded way that my hair clippers do). You plug it in, charge it up overnight or whenever, then you take it into the bathroom to use it. When it runs out after a couple of weeks of super-fun jet-flossing, you take it back out and you charge it up again. It's not rocket surgery.
Oral-B, on the other hand, seem unable to conceive a scenario where you would ever want to let your toothbrush out of the bathroom, even when you weren't actually brushing your teeth with it. As a result it comes with only a razor-type 2-pin charging plug, on an idiotically short lead. Now, I haven't been in everyone in the country's bathroom (despite my best efforts), but I'm going to go ahead and assume that at least a majority of shaver sockets are located in a similar place to mine, and could easily be more than two feet above a flat surface.
So HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CHARGE MY FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH, YOU FUCKING MORONS? I can't leave it dangling in mid-fucking-air like The Innocent Derek Bentley, can I? Apart from just being ridiculous, it'd pull the plug out. I can't sit it on top of the shaving light because the shaving light's got a sloped surface, and with a tall, narrow thing balancing precariously on top of it the slightest breeze from the window is going to send it crashing to the ground and smashing to pieces on the hard tiled floor.
(Indeed, the instructions, which come on a ludicrous concertina-ed piece of paper two feet long and two inches wide, specifically say "Do not place or store the charger where it can fall or be pulled into a tub or sink".)
Maybe that's the idea. Maybe you want me to have to buy a new one every week. But at the price I paid for it, I'm not sure that it's entirely unreasonable of me to want to be able to actually use this one at least once, without going and forking out more money for some sort of adapter that you were too stingy to include in the box.
How many pence did you save by cheaping out and not putting one in, or at least making the cable a decent length? However much it was, the outcome is that those extra few pennies of profit mean I'll never buy any Oral-B product again as long as I live (including your posh new toothpaste which I'd been about to try), because on principle I don't like giving money to a bunch of dickheads so they can make my life difficult for no good reason.
What are you, Oral-B, stupid or something? Or what?